It seems that the Silver Ring Thing has its eyes on the UK. George Monbiot discusses the problems with their approach
Abstinence campaigns such as the Silver Ring Thing do delay sexual activity, but when their victims are sucked into the cesspool (nearly all eventually are), they are, according to a study at Columbia University, around one-third less likely to use contraceptives, as they are not “prepared for an experience that they have promised to forgo”. The result, a paper published in the British Medical Journal shows, is that abstinence programmes are “associated with an increase in the number of pregnancies among partners of young male participants”. You read that right: abstinence training increases the rate of teenage pregnancy.
The reason the rate of sexually transmitted diseases has increased is not becuase there is not enough contraceptive education. It is because we live in a culture where its believed that teens cant control themselves…that teens cant possibly live without having sex before marriage. B/c if we truly believed that they could, we would be encouraging them to do so instead of giving them an excuse not to wait. If our culture was convinced of abstinence’s effectiveness our teens wouldn’t be hearing two conflicting messages but instead one solid message of purity. And as a result the rise in STD’s would close to non-existent
I have just had a look at the srt website. before you find out what it is about you find what you can buy. Makes one think, doesn’t it?
It only seems to guide young people but eventually misleads them and puts them into great danger and a moral dilemma once they have found the “right one”.
Silver Ring Thing is all starry eyed, naive and to be frank, rather sinister. I grew up in a Christian background and did the abstinence thing till I got “caught” when I was in my early 20s and had my virginity robbed by a guy who put something in my drink. The reason I got caught was that my Christian background had left me naive and vulnerable. I repented of my sin and stayed celibate till in my late 20s I went into a long term relationship with a man I thought was going to be my husband. The relationship didn’t work out because he started beating me up once I agreed to be his wife. My father told me that the guy beat me up because I was sleeping with him before marriage and would have respected me and not beat me if I hadn’t slept with him. It was then I seriously started to question patriarchal Christian beliefs – would a loving God really want women to be treated in this manner?
Now I find myself in my late 30s, single and regretting all those sexual opportunities I passed up in my 20s for the sake of abstinence. I’ve been celibate for most of my life, not by choice I hasten to add, I’d love to have married young and had a good marriage. I’m lonely as hell, feel my life slipping away and would advise teens to get good sexual education and enjoy themselves while they have youth and the opportunity to do so.
A peachy teen celibate is a lot “sexier” in media terms than a sour late thirties celibate! Silver Ring Thing is more about selling T-Shirts than selling celibacy, if you ask me.
Maybe SRT’s not perfect but don’t blame your bad life experience on celibacy, I doubt your life would’ve been perfect if you’d jumped into bed with every guy you came across.
Maybe some of you might think a bit differently when your twelve year old daughter comes home with an STD cocktail and a baby, but then again maybe not.
Its a valiant attempt to revitalise a noble value that schools and society reject utterly.
I just stumbled into something about SRT when I signed on and was sucked in… I was very interested to find out what it was about. It has been quite sometime since I was a teen-aged virgin, but it reminded me of the one of those things that certain kids would do to put up a front and make the grown ups happy. I was not at all surprised to see that many of the teens who made the pledge still didn’t wait for marriage. It made me think of the “Prom Promise”, that pledge everyone would sign to say they would not drink on prom night… “Everyone” signed it… only a few people actually kept the promise. I do think it is great if it SRT can at least delay the age at which some teens engage in sex, however, a thorough education on the topic is key. It seems I was able to hold off on having sex until I was ready, and didn’t have to make a vow to do so.
Silver ring thing is just another powerplay by that most vulgar and deceptive of creatures, the American christian Right. This is not about sex at all, it is really about power and like the churches throughout history it seeks to use sex as the wedge by which it claims control of peoples lives and minds. look at all those deceived by catholicism for a living example of this. These people oppose sex education because, like all education, it empowers individuals. Snake oil like SRT and its ilk thrives where education is weak, and they can fill a void with their Biblical nonsense. Sadly its in uncertain times like these that these people come out from under their rocks to prey on the vulnerable.
SRT is a christian-based organization, but they do not talk about God until a certian point in their program at which point, they offer a different, non-faith based point of view.
Hi,
This is a plea for Paul B who wrote a comment on July 19 about SRT.
Please could you get in touch and anyone else who shares the same feelings but lives in Charleston, West Virginia.
Thanks
it makes me wonder how bush can justify war on iraq when most of these people are innoncent and are just victims of a strict regime based on religious morals? But surely it is easy to see the comparison between this kind of regime and that enforced by the Silver Ring Thing, is it not just a crusade that is driven by a persons interpretation of christianity? The reason why i challenge Bush is becuase he invested a huge amount of US money into the abstinence thing. Makesyouwonder eh?
I have a silver ring on, and am very involved in the SRT Crew.
I find all the abstinence opposition (especially in places of the world where God has been totally kicked out) very interesting.
Here are some of the points I find interesting
-SRT is attacked for forcing their belief on abstinence and pressuring kids into not having sex…but for some reason its okay for society, friends, and media to pressure kids to have sex…I don’t think so…
-People who come commit to abstinence do it of their OWN DECISION. It isn’t forced onto them…no one makes them do it.
-I don’t buy this “I was naieve and wasn’t taught about contraception and thats why I’m pregnant…or Thats why I have an STD” First of all, contraceptives don’t do a whole lot of good in protecting against STDs anyway so if you’re being taught that, then we should go attack that method of sex education as well! No contraceptive is going to EVER be as effective as abstinence is.
-OH NO! THOSE DANG CHRISTIANS! How dare we teach morals! How dare we teach people about love for yourself and others…Come on people…
-I don’t buy the “It’s impossible to keep a commitment like this” You know what…its difficult with the world constantly shoving sex in your face, or schools sending mixed messages of “You shouldn’t have sex…but if you do…” but it is possible. I know people who have, and I myself am in a two year relationship and have remained abstinent throughout (I’m 18 by the way)
-Silver Ring Thing is about sex. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t offer a secular alternate seminar
People…Take responsibility for your own actions. It isn’t the fault of schools failing to teach one method or another. It was YOUR decision to have sex, and YOUR consequences to deal with.
I honestly think this whole idea is nonscence. Girls could preserve themselves, but don’t need a ring to prove that. This is pure pressure to keep themselves “preserved”. Are we going back to slavery?
you only live once… you have to live it to the fullest exploring the unexplored… it’s good I can assure you!
The Silver Ring Thing is a great idea for those who do/don’t want to have sex but feel pushed. Teens these days are interested in sex for basically one reason… curiosity. Teenagers, like myself, are very curious and like to experiment with the unknown. Hopefully, this will give them a reason not to!
I don’t understad this ring thing… They say contraceptives are no god in protecting against STDs – that is not vorrect. Condoms protect against Gonorrhea, chlamydia, and trichomoniasis, hiv and in first place pregnancies. It is important to know how to use a condom if I decide to use it. Don’t give those girls a silver ring, give them instruction that it is their body, that they decide whatr to do or not to do and leave the wedding ring out. It does not help anybody if you have no sexuell knowledge till the weddingnight…
I think the Srt is so awesome!! I have not gotten a ring yet but i plan on it! It makes me so mad to hear you people talk crap on the Srt we arent pressuring you not to have sex, we joined it to be true to ourselves and on our own free will!! Why would you wanna sleep with a guy you don’t know to fell acepted wait till your married and stay true to yourself!
i think most reasonabale ppl would not believe that you are forced to not have sex.
but what worry ppl like me is that it is destroying the safe-sex message. those who are committed to the SRT believe that contraceptives is useless against STD which is not true. Condons have been proven to be 90% effective in preventing STD including HIV. failure is due to incorrect usage and slipage or breakage.
also it takes the money away from sexuality education which i believe is much more important.
even if SRT delay sexual encounters of some teenagers, they would still need the knowledge to protect themselves when they do have sex.
the srt says they there progams are non-faith based point of view. b/c of gvmt money. if you watch the show about them on the bbc. when they were raising money they said lets pray to christ.
That’s right. SRT Crew members pray, because as crew memebers, we believe in Christ, however, we never force the people who come to our shows to accept or view the same message. It’s also interesting to look over the record of shows to see how few people actually go to these alternate secular seminar. Hmmm could it possibly be that teens are interested in God again?!
“could it possibly be that teens are interested in God again?”
Let’s hope not :)
Well bad news for you. They are
Kristen,
Well, it’s not really bad news for me. It doesn’t really effect me one way or the other. It’s bad news for them tho’ if they become the kind of person who can only get thru life by relying on an invisible friend. And it’s probably bad news for the US as a whole if you’re getting more and more of that kind of person :)
There is absolutely no way that this will become as big as it is in America in the U.K. I personally think you shouldn’t teach people what to believe, it should be their choice. I don’t believe religions or religious beliefs should be forced on people and I don’t think people should be taught that abstinence is the right thing to do. Tell kids about it and let them choose what they want to do. A girl on a forum on a steps towards premartial sexual abstinence said her teacher had said, ‘if a guy asks for sex, ask for a wedding ring’ I cannnooottt believe she said that in England you would never be allowed to try influence children like that or force opinions on anyone. I also was suprised by how narrow minded the opinions on the site were. And from what I’ve seen in documentaries about the Silver Ring Thing etc. most kids are doing it because it’s the new ‘cool’ thing and go on to break their vows and have sex anyway.When they do have sex they are less likely to use protection! Sex is a big part of a relationship and if your not sexually compatible with a partner that can lead to a break up.
First, I wanna say that I totally respect people that stay abstinent until they find “the right one” as long as it’s on their own will. But what infuriates me, is the way religion and groups like SRT brainwash teenagers, telling them that sex before marriage is bad and dangerous. I live in Quebec, Canada, and in highschool once a year we had the school nurse coming to our class telling us all about STDs, contraception and how to have safe sex. I think that’s the only way to teach teens to be sexualy responsible. Because we all know that sex is a normal thing and it will happen to everyone of us at a certain time. Scaring people by only telling them about the dangers of being sexualy active is not gonna stop them from doing it. So why not put the money and energy on telling the truth? I don’t mean the risks should be hiden, far from that. But hiding the good side of the thing isn’t better. I’ve been sexualy active for two years now. I take the birth control pill and I always use condoms. If I do so, it’s because I know about the risks, but I also want to enjoy that part of life witch I think is one of the most wonderful. I think that always pushing back sexual desire is just not sane. The best thing is to listen to yourself, and when you think you’re ready then go for it. If you do it responsabily, all it can give you is experience, a better knowlegde of yourself and a lot of fun!
your all crazy. the silver ring thing is extremely awesome. i just went like two nights ago and got my ring. i dont understand how an abstinence problem can be bad. i’m a Christian, teenage virgin and i couldnt be happier. your all crazy. im seriouse. wat is this world coming to?
Chelsea,
Thanks for your comments. If you choose to deny yourself one of the undoubted pleasures of your teen years then that is, of course, entirely up to you. I’m certainly not going to criticise you for it. I’d just ask that you consider two points.
1/ In order for this to be a considered decision, you need to have information from both sides of the argument. If you’ve made the decision based on the kinds of half-truths and scare stories that you get from people like the Silver Ring Thing then I’d urge to get the other side of the story by talking to family planning experts about the true extent of the dangers involved in teenage sex. You’ll find that, as long as you are careful, it isn’t anywhere near as scary or dangerous as the SRT would like you to think.
2/ Even though you’ve reached your decision, please don’t use that as a reason to not get educated in contraceptive techniques. A lot of abstaining teens don’t have the strength of will to stick to their decision and because they haven’t seen a reason to learn about contraception, they get themselves into a lot of trouble. Don’t let that be you. Arm yourself with knowledge.
And one last point. The next time you’re talking to god, you might ask him for a little help with your grammar and spelling. Your writing would be a little easier to read if you understood the difference between “your” and “you’re”.
I heard more about the SRT today and thought “hey lets actually check it out while i have the time and inclination”…hence my finding this site.
I personally think having a group of religious people teaching just about abstinence from sex and only that – with hardly a mention about faith and God – an interesting notion. After reviewing their official site i felt more that it was an easy way to make money from somewhat naive children then educate them sex and abstaining.
Waiting until you are ready to have sex is a wise decision, and if you feel you have to wait until you are married then so be it. On the other hand if you don’t then good for you also, but at least take precautions and wait until you’re old enough rather then rushing into it because it’s becoming the social norm.
Kids today experience even more pressure to have sex then any other generation previously. Where i live in Wales 1 in 4 girls having at least 4 sexual partners and engaging in one night stands by the time they are 18. One 13 year old when asked by her teacher why she had had sex replied, “i didn’t want to be the last virgin in my class.” I’m sorry but that totally sickens me. Where do kids get this nonsense from???
I do think that it’s true that we need more sex education but not just in schools. I was firstly educated about sex from my mum, who in my opinion was the best person to explain about it. Because i was about 10 at the time and curious, i didn’t find it embarrassing at that age. I think it is a failing by parents that they don’t feel able to teach there children about sex, but instead leave the responsibility to an inadequate education system.
We/society have created a monster, so its not surprising groups like SRT are becoming more popular. People obviously feel something needs to be done, and this is the result thus far.
Ok, as an oldster that grew up during the free 70’s and has finally come to understand that sex is really not a toy…
More power to those of you that choose to limit your sexual activity to people that you love, and especially, those that choose to be sexually active within a committed relationship only (which means marriage to most in the end).
I assure you – voice of experience here – that sex is a glorious thing indeed when experienced with your beloved.
Sex just for the sake of sex is empty and meaningless – and ultimately damaging to you where it counts most, and I’m not talking about just your body. Again, voice of experience here.
Whether or not you bring belief in an “invisible friend” into the equation doesn’t matter. What matters is what is ultimately best for you, and the majority of scientific and medical studies show that being married or in a committed relationship is good, and being sexually promiscuous is bad, for body and psyche both.
Ciao, dears.
I have an 11 yr. old daughter. Of course I do not want her to experiment with sex. However, this Ring Thing program disturbs me in one way….FAITH BASED…(et’s get realistic…Christian Based.
Any reference to Christianity seems against the constitution and on one of the reasons our country was formed…Religious freedom (not having schools preach a certain religion!..and get real, this program is using all the media tools it can for it’s cause, which underlying message is Christianity. Really, the message is that Christianity must be used to be morale. Our country has a dominate Right Wing Christian agenda under Bush, Christianity is being pushed at us in every aspect of our lives and government now. The government is paying for this program…a Faith Based Progam in our schools, do students have a choice seeing this program? But of course it has all the ingredients to atract them, and the purpose is well meant, it is just that they have to sneak in Christian teachings sn there, and this is NOT right.
I’ve been meening to chek out SRT for a while now, and just got round. So I ran a search (I believe you have to hear both sides of a story) on it, and ended up here.
I’m nearly 21, and a firm believer of abstinance until mairrige, whatever your faith convictions might be.
But I’ve been a teenager while the True Love Waits campaign was running high, I’ve seen it come… seen my buddies make the promise… seen them break it. I even saw one of my buddies make it twice! I asked him about it, and them it turned out he completely forgot about the first time.
This ring thing isn’t going to make a dent if society keeps on silently forbidding people to marry before they have this HUGE amount of security. And if we keep on subtly bombarding teens with negative sexuality everywhere we go.
Let’s stop doing all kind of stuff to trick teens into not having sex. Lets give them a good education. They need to know about contraceptions, they also need to know about physical as well as psychological dangers and results ect.
We need to educate teens in what to DO, not what NOT to DO. Educate them in positive relationship skills, and stop tricking them into hollow promises.
Yes, I am a Christian. But it’s not some rule or promise which made me decide on abstinance, it was an in depth look at both sides of the argument. And I firmly believe that this is the better decision.And for those of you that wondered, teens don’t HAVE to have sex, but if they simply make abstinace promises, and then play around with heavy sexuality, then it’s not suppose to be a surprise when they break the promise.
Well, just a few loose thoughts from South Africa:-)
I enjoy reading these kind of discussions! I’m an upper secondary school teacher so I get close to teenagers’ thoughts every day. In our religion lessons students themselves started a discussion about SRT. They find it a manipulative organisation that twist not only medical facts but also teenagers’ attitudes about sex as a natural phenomena. These students think that the only way to affect teenagers or any other peoples attitudes is to reduce sex in media. Kids see bikini girls every day in bus stops. Not good.
Instead of these SRT’s my students want to affect on media and peoples attitudes in a healthy way without twisting medical facts and without naive propaganda. I’m proud of their thoughts as a teacher but also as a parent because they are able to see the different points of view and compare them critically.
Are american teenagers able to do this? As long as this SRT continues they are not. Let the younsters think with their own brain.
hi ı’m from turkey. ı heard about silver ring things first on newspaper two days ago and in order to learn more about it ı’m searching on net. Just randomly ı found this site . It seems so interesting to me because ı believe that it was not problem for our culture till now but from now on, also my country is on the risk of losing moral values.
Although Turkey seems muslim country, nowadays it is not possible to differ her from an american or europian society.
I believe that ALLAH(god) lets everybody to decide on their lives own.Because he gave will to whole creatures that they can use it freely.
But if a man belives in ALLAH and if that man aware of his or her responsibility , he/she must give ear to ALLAH what he says . IT IS SO SIMPLE “if you buy a new machine , you should read using guide. Like this, ALLAH also sent us a user guide so if we raed what this using guide tells us ı beleive that there will be no problem in our very short lives.”Faith is power and light , a man who got the real faith can challenge to life”.
SO ı think silver ring things is just a story.
In the long term it can not be solution.And ı believe that real problem is not to know ALLAH and most of the people not desire to investigate about him as they want to learn about sexxxxx.
Hi everyone,
Well this is a very interesting discusion I must say. Especially if you are reading it from this side of the world–Africa. I’m in Kenya to be precise.
I have a silver ring–not from srt but for the same proclaimation. I went out and bought it myself. My friend has one too and we wear them for pride–virgin pride.
As we say here, I can always choose to become like you but you can’t choose to become like me. IT will come to you soon enough if you haven’t got it yet.
I don’t know what to say about all the accusations brought against srt by some of us but I certainly stand on the side of abstinence.
Firstly, because Christ said so. And while we spend all our time pointing fingers at religion for seeking to control us young ones, let me point out that God commands us to do this and not the other for our own good. Whether you believe this or not, it doesn’t matter. It’s true and you can’t change that.
Secondly, I have a brain in my skull.
I respect myself as a woman so I won’t go around ‘enjoying’ teenage pleasure. Here we say, when you sleep with one guy, you sleep with at least 97 other people. He brings you all his trash. So even when I marry, I will marry a virgin. I do beleive that both sexes should preserve themselves.
By the way, this condom rubbish I have read says so much about all that sex education you think you are getting. 90% EFFECTIVE? My foot. Someone’s been lying through the nose to you. You see, condoms being made of latex, have pores just like any other compound. Those pores under the microscope are at least 1000 times larger that the HIV virus. So everytime you use one of those, you just gave yourself some psychological comfort.
The truth is that condoms are 80% effective in preventing pregnancy. But what does that say about you? You are too chicken to accept the consequences of your actions. Let me have the pleasure, not the baby.
So if anyone feels like wearing a ring and thrusting it into my face let them, I will thrust mine back.
I submit it to you that at the core of this here forum is a thick JEALOUSY. it goes like this–I was too weak to stand up for what is right so now let me drag someone else through the mud with me. There is great comfort in numbers.
That you propose teenagers should be taught methods of protecting themselves while engaging in premarital sex, in the name of providing them safety, instead of telling them the plain truth–Abstinance till marriage faithfullness after, this I call plain insanity. I can just see one of you giving a robber some tips on how to make sure he doesn’t get shot dead while robbing a bank or better still your home. Don’t go stealing would be more like it.
Seems silly to divide people up into two groups: married and not married.
Married: Have sex and babies.
Not married: Have no sex. No babies.
Now, there’s this little set of people this doesn’t cover: the people who’re married and don’t want babies. And funnily enough, they exist.If you get married in your early twenties or late teens, without much financial stability and so forth, you probably don’t immediately want children. You probably would want to have safe sex. And having the knowledge for that would be helpful.
Point coming rather ineloquently through is that knowledge never did anyone any harm. Knowing about the correct way to use contraceptives doesn’t mean you need to employ that knowledge. Yes, tell the ickle teenagers that the only foolproof method of protection is abstinence, I agree. But also tell them the truth about condoms, the pill and other methods of safe sex.
It’s like knowing self-defence. How to incapacitae someone in five moves. It doesn’t mean I need to go out and beat someone up on a regular basis.
It seems odd to think if you abstain now, you’ll never want sex and never need the knowledge. Be it the breaking of that vow or the making of another (marriage) it doesn’t matter. No knowledge is ever wasted.
PS: Latex is porous, yes. But the virus needs to be carried through a bodily fluid which the condom keeps out. Yes, there is a risk. But not an enormous one.
If I correctly recall, the 80% is for general usage, taking into account mistakes made when putting it on (etc). 90% is for proper “perfect” usage. Someone correct me?
Hello, people. Here in America, my neighbors are a vast assortment of people. There are Muslims, Jewish people, Evangelical Christians, Catholics, married folks, divorced folks, single folks, homosexual folks, and the list goes on. I have seen firsthand how these “groups” of abstinence educators sneak their way in the doors of the public schools, and ultimately in our homes through our children, by misrepresenting themselves, and their programs. Once in, they misrepresent the facts, alienate people, and very subtly, and not so subtly, attempt to “persuade” the kids into their way of life, and it is FUNDED by our government!! I feel this must have been what the slow takeover of Nazism must have been like. If I ever contemplated Christianity, this crap has totally convinced me – NO, NO, NO!! This cannot be what God has intended. History WILL repeat itself, if we sit idly by and watch it happen. There is evil lurking, and it isn’t with all the “immoral” people who have chosen their own religion, their own way of life, their own sexual identity, their own methods of “raising up their kids.” These groups must be stopped, our government needs to “out” those who’ve wedged themselves in with their own agenda – America needs to reunite and stand tall on it’s founding – The Land of the Free. We need to clarify and reaffirm the facts – this country was founded on freedom, not Christianity. If Jesus walked today, these bigoted, rascist, biased folks who claim Him as their Savior, would be the very ones who crucify him. He was a long haired, hippie who taught “free love”, and rebelled against authority.
The claim that the HIV can pass through intact condoms has been widely refuted by a number of peer reviewed studies. For starters, most condoms are electrically tested and subjected to leak tests. Explain to me how exactly a condom which can pass electrons or water molecules can pass a HIV virus which is around thousands of times larger…This is not to say condom’s are perfectly safe, even with proper usage they can tear etc. The failure as a birth control tool are usually quoted around 5% for correct usage but such a thing is difficult to measure (what is improper usage for example). The failure rate for tranmission of HIV is probably much lower since it’s generally, speaking much harder to transmit HIV then it is to impregnate someone.Of course, with incorrect usage, failure can be quite high. This is commonly called the actual failure rate. It has been quoted at 30% of higher. However one very important issue when you are talking about abstinance is that abstinance actually has a VERY HIGH failure rate. A lot of people who have been planning not to have sex. Religious bigots ignore this and claim that anyone who genuinely wants to practice abstinance will suceed but this is utter BS. The truth is abstinance might sound good in practice but in our modern society is completely failing. Even in the most traditional societies it often failed, it was just much better hidden.
1) Silver Ring Thing is being attacked because it teaches kids that condoms do not work. In fact, if they mention anything about condoms save for their failure rate, the funding is yanked. That, and they are using religion in public schools to push this message.
2)80% of kids who take abstinence-until-marriage pledges break them, and THAT’S only the kids who actually take the pledge.
3) Kids who believe that condoms don’t work, won’t use ’em if and when they do have sex.
4) Studies have shown an increase in STD rates amongst teens who have abstinence-only as their sex education. Some studies have hinted in a rise in teen pregnancy, but these studies are inconclusive.
5) “Normal” sex education is NOT all about condoms. It’s is called “abstinence-plus” and teaches both abstinence AND contraceptive use. You may believe this is a conflicting message, but which is worse: emitting important information thus dramatically increasing their chances of getting pregnant and/or catching an STD; or letting them know there can be a back-up plan if they choose not to abstain.
6) My church has a sex ed program in the Religious Education department called “Our Whole Lives”, or OWL for short. This program starts at Kindergarten, teaching about the body and it’s parts, then moves on to sexual function and procreation, then moving on to other topics like orgasms and contraceptives when the children are older. The graduates of this program are some of the most level-headed kids I’ve ever met, and some have actually gone to their regular public schools and begged the principal to impliment OWL in their school so that their friends would stop bugging them for information!!! Most importantly, this program gets them ready for adulthood, and makes them confident in their own sexuality. Kids who are more confident tend to be more in control, and tend to abstain until they are ready to have sex for the first time. Perhaps this would solve the whole “teens can’t possibly live without sex” mentality, if such a thing exists? (I never felt pressured to have sex as a teen, and I was a rampant consumer of everything entertainment…books, movies, comics, tv shows (including risque Anime), magazines, newspapers…EVERYTHING. Of course, I was raised in a household that was very comfortable with sex, and did not regard it as a taboo. Maybe that’s the answer, then?)
Hi, BBC2 are currently in the middle of ‘No Sex please were teenagers’ where they take a look at the lives of 12 teens who have a sexual active lifestyle.
I am 17 and through school i have seen my friends enjoy and talk about the pleasures of sex openly with a sex education without the mention of absinence, through church seen many friends have a sexually active life.
I myself have chosen to be abstinate till marriage and honestly thank this to my christian upbringing (‘the body is a temple to god’) and imaginary friend or not he leaves me feelin content about my life on a whole- without sex!
SRT do a generally good job at what they do- It’s like taking a driving test- not every one is going to pass but it leaves the ones who do with a feeling of wellbeing and part of a ‘club’- ring or no ring.
Ofcourse it is relgion based but a lot of it is common sense also- take the commandments-
* do not kill
* do not steal
Even oblivious to it we all live to religion. Abstinence is just another way to lve happily with minimal regrets.x
Basically, if you are a teenager who is a Christian/Jew/Muslim then you really really should carry out abstinence until after marriage because unless you do you are betraying your religion! However if you are not religous then you should not waste your youth and should have a good time when you still can!
Its a little known fact that the biologically best age to have a child is 16………..thinkabout it.
I have just come across this website/message board by accident. I live in the U.K., I am 33 years old, married with a two year old son, yes I am a born again Christian; my husabd is a pastor.
My life however was not always like this.
From the age of 14- 22 I had sex with well over 50 different men. I felt cheap used and dirty, I had several pregnancy scares, HIV tests etc. When I was 22 I saw a docunmentary of the abstinence movement, both is U.S. and in the UK. I took the pledge myself that night. I was celibate for 7 years I didn’t become a Christian until 2 years into the pledge. I can honestly say that the whole thing changed my life.
Over here at the moment, there is a documentary on teenagers in Harrow,London, a project has been set up by Dan Burke and Rachel Gardener, two Christian youth workers. The programme is called “no sex please wre teenagers”, the whole group of 12 teenagers (except one only who is a virgin) had admitted to 50 sexual acts between them, the whole project had been a success, they learnt to respect themselves and value themselves.
I have been on both sides of the fence and I can honestly that sex outside of marriage is cheap dirty and degrading. My Husband was a virgin when we married and he didn’t need to experience sex in order to satisfy me sexually. Sex inside of marriage is a beautiful expression of how much you both love each other.
Let’s face it, if there were no sex outiside marriage there would be no sexually transmitted diseases no unplanned pregnancies, and very few abortions. In england I lived on an estate where 25% of the estate were young single mum’s, one young woan who was only 31 had 12 children by nine different men; yes the British tax payer had to keep her and feed her and give her a six bedroomed house rent free.
Lets protect our Children.
let’s raise the age of consent in the U.K. to 18
the reason the rate of teen pregnacies is goign up is the weay in whcih sex education is beign taught
im a 6th year student and in 3rd year i was taught near engout 2 “go and have sex but b protected”
if it was taught diffrent then teen prejnacies woudl be lesseded
Claire,
Sounds like your sex education was about as useful as your English education :)
The basic ideas behind the SRT are sound. However, the people behind it and their proclamations to be ‘Christian’ leave a lot to be desired. When they came over to the UK, they used many people for accomodation, money and help, and then dumped them on their return, as if they were disposable. Many promises were made, and broken. Federal funds were used, and not paid back. I am a Christian and can safely say that real Christians don’t treat people like this. They are liars. Abstinence, yes! SRT – no!
i think srt is a gr8 idea and wether u like it or not its workin and is effecting people all over the world! you can say what you like but at the end of the day sex is has helped make the world the sinful place it is today and i believe god is using the srt to show the next generation that sex means alot more than lust! they are makin a difference and there is nothing that you the devil or any one elsae can do about it! this is gods work so i am behind it all the way!
carys,
1/ Your points might be a bit more compelling if you wrote in English.
2/ SRT doesn’t effect people all over the world. How many countries is the group active in?
3/ Sex is pretty much an essential part of human existance. Without it none of us would be here. Sex is not sinful.
4/ God and the devil don’t exist. Take responsibility for your own decisions. Don’t rely on two thousand year old books.
But thanks for your comments.
i have been reading all the comments on this page with great intrest. I help to lead a youth grp for 11-14 yr olds and I’m also a radical born again Christian. I’ve only been one since Jan 03 as a result of doing an Alpha course(which is amazing and is a fantastic idea for any one with questions to go along to and find out more about the Christian faith. First of all Sex is amazing,after all God invented it, however the world taken this wonderful, pure and God given gift and (in many ways)made it filthly and dirty and something that causes so many people pain and heartache(Rape,Teen pregancies,porn,peadophilla)).
God is weeping& furious about what the world and the Devil has done with this fantastic gift. One day he will come again and create a new Heaven and a new Earth but he is a gracious and Loving God and he want’s as many people as possible to come back to him beofre he does that. he has given us free will and we live in a fallen world(which is why we see so much heartache and evil and destuction in the world) Jesus is alive but so is the Devil and he is the prince of this world and he loves it when people step out of the boundries God made for sex to be pure and good. Satan loves it when kids are having kids,when teens end up with std’s(How can anyones heart not break @ a 13yr old saying that she doesn’t want to be the last virgin in her class)and when youth get so drunk that they don’t care what anyone does to them. I know some of you may think I’m some nutty christian for saying that the Devil exists but as the tag line said to the Usual Suspects ‘The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was to pretend he never exsisted’. I don’t know to much about the whole SRT thing but I totally agree that abstinence is the best way. I also know how hard it must be for Teens esp to stick to that so it makes total sense for them to learn about contraceptives and how to protect them selves and one of the best ways for them to respect them to protect themselves is to learn to respect them selves.
I know it’s been a long one but so many of the comments on here broke my heart and It’s so sad when my Lord,saviour,best friend and ultimate father is misreperented to the world. Jesus is not a God of rules, he’s a God of grace and no matter how many times we mess up we can still go back to him and he’ll be their with open arms.
God loves us soooooo much and he wants us to know him and love him too. Finally It’s been fantastic to read what Christian teens on this board have written and I hope and pray that God gives u strength and uses u in amazing and powerful ways to show his love to all the youth in your Sch’s and colleges that need him but don’t know him yet and remember that people will think were weired and strange and even hate us but have this passage as comfort ‘If the World hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.If you belonged to the world, it would love you as it’s own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the World. That is why the World hates you. Jn 15:18-20 God bless guys and esp to my Bro’s and Sis’s in Christ reading this remember the cloud of witness that surround you! Martin
ps This bit’s for Dave Cross-Sorry about my lack of spelling but I do have dyslexia and secondly re your invisable friend comment you might find this intresting. Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1-2 Bless you.
I realize that most people commenting here are either lustful, close-minded fools, or well-meaning people who lack a full education on the subject.
However, I will post regardless.
Abstinence based on what God commands is good. No way around it. And no, I don’t base this belief on SRT or the Bible(although, in retrospect, I probably should have). I made my decision on abstinence simply because sex hurts after a breakup. Interesting that most “emo” scene males (and a fraction of females) become so within a year after a breakup that involved sexual activity.
I personally experienced such pain in a relationship which started out beautifully, but moved in a sexual direction fast. I should have stopped it, because within a few hours after ‘messing around’ I would feel rather dirty. I abandoned my conscience, however, and as soon as I talked to my girlfriend about the experience I felt falsely better about it. And so the cycle continued, until we couldn’t even be together without having sexuality on our minds at some point. It was horrible, and it ruined the relationship.
It also took me almost a year of pain, undescribable pain, to regain my conscience again.And this whole lying-about-contraceptives nonsense is utterly evil. I am a Christian, I am devoted to God, and I can keep my virginity WHILE knowing about the other ‘options’ (as if they even were..). It is a stupid, tyrannical action to lie to teenagers about the effectiveness of contraceptives. If they aren’t serious enough in their faith, it’s their own fault for having sex. The only thing that lying will breed is anger and discontent, and besides, masking the truth is against the Bible, is it not?
The bottom line is – abstinence is good, because God says it is so. STD’s and unwanted pregnancies are only physically manifested punishments of the sinner. Spiritually and mentally you suffer as well (I didn’t even go “all the way”, and I know I did).
(Puts flame suit on). Im prepared for opposition.
Oh, btw, my email address is strifejosh@gmail.com and you can get me on AIM on the SN ‘insipidstrife’. I’m not afraid to defend myself.
I think the SRT is a good idea promoting abstinence. i agree to a certain extent that they shouldn’t out rule the use of condoms..because if they look at statistics they would find that alot of people don’t stick to the vow.
If they are going to have sex it should be as safe as possible.Sex isn’t all that and im annoyed at people on here who ridicule people who are staying abstinent as a result of SRT or other reasons, because they can’t control their ‘urges’. Sex isn’t jus about the physical pleasure, it is emotional as well as spiritual.
As it can have physical consequences and effects, it can have emotional and spiritual consequences. i see sooooo many girls who have given in to the ‘charms’ of there boyfriends.. and when the relationship doesn’t last they are shattered. Obviously that isn’t all down to sex but sex does play a major part in that! However much u put in is what you will get out.Abstinence is the best form of ‘safe’ sex without a doubt.
I think that its stupid to say that people who wait till their married are more likely to me unprepared for sex. Erm hello if they are serious about waiting what does it matter they know they are going to have sex on their wedding night. The point of the SRT is that we as christians shouldn’t have sex befoe we marry as if we truly believe in what the bible has to say we wouldn’t want to in the first place. Its a choice and I don’t see why people have to tear it apart. I have been laughed at so much for being a christian and this is a major step but I think it’s one in the right direction.
Rebecca,
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t make that choice. Personally I think it’s a pretty silly choice but you are, of course, completely free to make whatever choice you want.
What I _am_ saying, however, is that just because you’ve made that choice you shouldn’t use that as a reason not to find out all you can about sex and contraception. The simple fact is that most people who make your choice don’t stick with it. And if you become one of the majority who change their minds it would be a shame to get yourself in trouble because you don’t have the basic facts about contraception.
From what I’ve seen, the people behind groups like SRT lie to teenagers about the dangers of sex and the effectiveness of contraception. Please make sure that you get the facts from someone who has no reason to lie to you. Go to your local sexual health clinic and get the facts from them.
Okay i see you really want to help Dave but what is the cause of this animosity towards SRT? I believe if this program actually works to prevent teen promiscuity then why should it be so much a bother? i say yes i do agree with this program in sex ed stressing on abstinency but then again yes there could be many flaws and okay i agree they should also stress on prevention in use of contraceptives but hey let up and give people a chance to make their own decision and choice without you having to critique them. I understand you’re basically stating an opinion but if you have something against SRT itself then maybe you should go directly to them and complain… if you already have and somewhat haven’t responded back to you then there you go, you must be some sort of fanatic. I for one think it’s a good idea having SRT around but i also believe they need to make a few more adjustments in their articulation, by adding in the use of contraceptive prevention as well as stating the risks factors. Other than that i think if it works it works… what’s the deal?
Jenne,
I don’t think I’ve ever posted anything her that didn’t say that people are completely free to choose what they do with their own bodies. If people choose to sign up to SRT and not have sex until marriage then that’s great. In my opinion they are missing out on a lot of fun, but I’m not going to criticise them.
My objections to SRT are two-fold. Firstly they are a christian organisation and I think that basing decisions like this on two thousand year old myths is stupid and dangerous. Secondly they lie to teenagers in order to get them to see their point of view. They tell scare-stories about the effectiveness of contraceptives. Teenagers should be getting information about this from unbiased healthcare professionals, not ministers.
You seem to misunderstand my position. I don’t see teen promiscuity as a problem. I see see unwanted teen pregnancies as a problem. And scaring kids into abstinence isn’t going to solve that problem.
I originally wrote this entry eighteen months ago when SRT were showing an interest in setting up in the UK. It seems that no-one was particularly interested when they came over here and they’ve gone away again, so I’m not going to contact them with my concerns as it doesn’t effect me at all. I will, however, continue to debate with people who post here.
I wonder to what extent the bible actually is a book of 2,000 year old myths? On the one hand I think there’s reasonable evidence for some of the things that took place, but on the other hand of course stories are often embellished in the re-telling. But then of course it depends to what extent the bible should be taken literally, and how much of it should be seen as a parable or morality tale.
I went to church last Sunday to hear a financial advisor speaking about a Christian perspective on money. It’s an unconventional church, and I was invited by a friend. It was a very interesting talk actually, and although of course the speaker made reference to the bible, God and Jesus, the real message was just one of good practice that would be equally relevant to those of any religion. (Although I’ve been Christened, I’m not religiously active at all.)
Really, it was just a person giving the lessons learned from his own life, sort of like a business school lecture or such like.It reminded me that since so many people read the bible and attempt to live by its principles, by definition the bible is anything but outdated. The original text may have been written two thousand years ago, but I think the theme of the stories is pretty timeless.
So perhaps the bible should be seen more as a book of best practice for how to live life. A self help manual, in the parlance of today.
On a more cheeky note, the session of church that I went to is aimed at a younger audience, and some of the women there were incredibly attractive. It’s a real shame that they’re out-of-action! (I agree with you Dave, those people don’t know what they’re missing out on!)
One more thing: are health workers actually unbiased? Or are they just preaching a different sort of gospel? Teachers, social workers, and most groups seem to have their own pet agendas and set of core beliefs (usually that have some degree of self-interest attached), so I wouldn’t expect health workers to be any different to religious authorities in that sense.
I had sex last night, and it was great. I suggest everyone do it more often. I’m not being glib, it really is one of the most fantastically fun things in the world. It also has all sorts of proven long term benefits to both your mental and physical health. How come no-one ever talks about those?
Even people who are against abstinance programs tend to talk about sex as if it’s something that teenagers are going to do not matter what we do to try and stop them. Why are we trying to stop them? Would you prefer they were on the streets fighting? Doing drugs perhaps? Playing violent video games?
OK, maybe a touch glib, but you get the point. Having sex is an intrinsically good and worthwhile thing to do.
HERE’S MY TAKE, FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH…1) SRT DOES NOT FORCE ANYONE TO MAKE A COMMITMENT.2) IF SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS SO “GOOD” THEN WHY ARE THERE SO MANY UGLY CONSEQUENCES?3) HORMONES ARE HORMONES. THEY ARE GOING TO RAGE, AND WHEN THEY DO, WE NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE BOUNDARIES ARE. WE NEVER SEE WHAT HIT US. AT LEAST WITH THE SRT, IT’S A LITTLE COMMON-SENSE, REAL-LIFE EDUCATION.YEAH, IT FELT WONDERFUL AT THE TIME, BUT HOW MANY TEARS WERE SHED AFTERWARDS? THAT’S CALLED A CONCIENCE – CHRISTIAN OR NOT. IT WILL EAT YOU ALIVE UNTIL YOU KILL IT. THAT’S WHEN JUST DOING “WHAT FEELS GOOD” TAKES OVER AND YOU BECOME AN EMPTY SHELL. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
“girlfriend”,
Please don’t type in capitals, it looks like you’re shouting.I think you misunderstand my point of view on this. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t abstain from sex if they want to.My problem is that SRT are scaring people into making these decisions by feeding them distorted information and tying it all in with religion.
If you want information about the dangers of sex then go and ask a sex education expert. Don’t rely on the half-truths that you get from SRT.
SRT is _not_ common sense. It is religious indoctrination.
Regardless of your views of SRT (I personally am in agreement with them), relying on SRT, a public school, or even a church (I’m a pastor and personally would like to do away with “youth” ministry) to raise your children–even with respect to sex–is wrongheaded. It is a parent’s responsibility to raise their children and talk openly about these matters. Relying on the “village” to raise your child is absolutely non-sensical. If you don’t like what a group is teaching your child, teach them what you want them to know–they will honestly value a parent who is trying to be a parent more than someone else–whether or not they admit it or not. It’s called taking personal responsibility over what is in your domain–you children being part of that.