On Anna in Wonderland last night, Anna Nolan investigated groups of people in the UK who like to think they are vampires. It was all rather sad.
There was Lucius (and I’m betting that’s not what her parents called her) who proudly showed off her filed teeth and her coffin. “So you sleep in that do you?” asked Anna. “Well sometimes,” replied Lucius, “but it can get a bit hot in there.”
Saddest of all was Jason. A 32 year old who still lives with his father in Wellingborough. From possibly the most unhygenic bedroom ever seen on TV he runs the “National Vampire Association”. He has a web site, but Google doesn’t seem to know about it. From this centre of operations he tracks down disaffected goth teenagers and persuades them that they are vampires. If they are female he’ll offer to let them drink his blood, presumably in the hope of getting sexual favours in return.
Anna was appalled by what she saw. “I don’t think you should be telling these young people that they are vampires,” she said, “They aren’t vampires, they’re just confused.” “I really wish it was that simple,” replied Jason, “Being a vampire isn’t easy.”
“So you think they’ll always be vampires?” asked Anna. To which Jason replied, “They’ll be vampires until they die”.
I thought the point about vampires was that they were already dead.